New year’s resolutions are made to be broken they say. For that reason I am not making particularly taxing ones this year. More chance of keeping to them. Though I doubt I will. Here they are, if you’re looking for inspiration:
1. I will shut the bathroom door in the morning so that the cat cannot come in and rub his cold wet sticky nose on my bare leg while I’m having a pee. This happens EVERY morning.
2. I will remember to water my plants before the hibiscus goes floppy.
3. I will not indulge in a toastfest more than once a week.
4. I will buy enough bras of light colours to ensure I do not have to spend the whole day wearing a jumper so that you can’t see I’m wearing a black bra under a pastel shirt.
5. I will not leave the ironing pile for more than two weeks at a time and when I do the ironing pile I will not decide that I don’t need to iron things because once I’ve been wearing them for ten minutes it won’t show. It will show.
6. I will not leave the washing up for more than 48 hours or until it starts to look like primordial soup.
7. I will not get into a rage as a result of comments made to me on internet forums and go off and eat chocolate or drink gin.
8. I will not call toast and a glass of wine supper on days when I don’t feel like cooking or can’t be arsed to wash up (see no. 6 for details).
9. I will get up early enough on Thursdays to put out the recycling even if the Thursday is a day when I’m not at work (for example New Year’s Day 2014 but that doesn’t count because I was asleep and anyway I’ve only just thought of it as a resolution).
10. I will not post snarky comments about other people’s spelling or grammar on Twitter unless I’m in a really bad mood.
Good luck with that, huh?
Happy New Year!